When people are young and being exposed to a world filled with dysfunction and unconsciousness, there is a need to develop coping mechanisms to help them deal with the environment around them. They also come to erroneous conclusions based on their experiences. These coping mechanisms and conclusions are very elementary and deeply embedded into the unconscious.
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Acting out in anger
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Shutting down (avoiding confrontation)
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Running away (avoiding confrontation)
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Crying
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Acting like nothing affects you
Some of the more common erroneous conclusions are:
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I’m not good enough/there’s something wrong with me
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It’s not worth standing up for myself, it never works
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People who say they love you will leave you
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You can’t trust anyone
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I’m not worthy of: love, happiness, success, etc.
With these unconscious strategies and belief systems at the core of one’s actions, it’s no wonder there are dysfunctional behaviors rampant in society.
The solution is to do the inside work. Go inside and identify what your go-to coping mechanisms and conclusions are. What do you tend to do when things get rough? What types of belief systems about yourself are holding you back? Do you remember where they came from? What experiences got you so confused as a child that they pushed you towards developing such a strong belief or strategy at such a young age? If you don’t remember, that’s okay. You don’t have to remember to transcend it. Go deep, look around and see what you find.
Once you know what’s holding you back and what you want to let go of, you can find out what you’d like to replace it with. If your go-to is anger…what’s a better way to handle a situation? You could decide to anchor yourself in the knowing that you are okay, safe, eternal. You are not a child and people don’t have control over you like they used to. You don’t have to defend yourself, it’s okay.
If you used to believe that you’re not good enough, you can see that the people around you that made you feel that way were obviously unconscious and didn’t know what they were doing. You can see that your Creator doesn’t make junk. You are a wonderful expression of the Divine and nothing short of spectacular…this is the Truth!
Re-think these beliefs and coping mechanisms from the perspective of an awakening adult and Spiritual Being having a human experience. From this perspective you can find what rings true to you, what feels right inside your heart when you say it. Decide this is your new reality. At one point you made a decision to believe in the previous reality simply because you didn’t understand what was going on and why at such a young age. It’s time to let that go and decide to agree to a different story. A story that makes more sense now that you’ve lived and experienced more. Simply decide to live a certain way and then reinforce it as situations arise to help you make this new way of being Your way of being!